When we speak~~ is it the tree in the woods falling ~~~ages old question & scenario? 

Did it make a sound, if no one heard it? This is our vulnerability with a chronic illness. We try to keep our strength up, both emotionally, physically, spiritually, but WE ARE HUMAN!  So, there will be those moments when we have these “moments” where our proverbial “apple cart” is not filled. Then we are blind-Sided with … It could be the smallest or largest of things. Our life has been building, towards this moment. We have been diligently trying to keep ourselves hydrated, rested, aware of our stress, doing all we can to deal with “life” but still? The bodies we live in do not work correctly. Acceptance of this fact has long ago been wrestled with & this is not a battle (lil demon tormenting our minds- see it can be more stress, negativity, depleting your energy, actually working against you! ) This is why when walking this journey, at some point, you learn how to choose your battles. This is why we (not all there- is not a right or wrong) just do the best we can each day then lay our head down in peace, we try to stay in a place of positivity & peace (apples in the cart) not a Pollyanna just where the cortisol will keep your autoimmune system winning in your body giving you a better chance of not losing the apples. 

As a child, I remember visiting my Grandfather’s (step -Grandfather although I am not fond of this descriptor) & Grandma’s home in West Virginia he took us out to his apple trees  & began to explain about the apples their readiness & how to pick them. He then took us over do his bee boxes. My Mom. Had a fit🐝🍎 We thought it was all so cool. We lived in the city. We were kids of course it was cool. Mom was apoplectic about safety, please remember – we were the kids with the ropes on the guided trails in The Smokey Mointains . We were very well-loved children! We also had a fascinating childhood between rose shows, dog shows, Boy Scouts, Girl Scouts, every summer in the Smokey Mountains, Dad’s Optimistic Clubs, Sunday School lesson preps, Mom’s March of Dimes, Junior Auxilary activities… Etc. there was never a moment of boredom in our home. It was also filled with love & service to others. I have an example of a political sketch from my Dad’s side of the family His Aunt & Uncle (who I tried to kiss their blind cat goodbye when I was five yrs old- it bit me… I have never had the best relationship with cats along with allergies since.. But I adore animals – even with my allergies) 

Yes, politics have changed a bit. My Aunt told my Mom Please don’t encourage him(My Dad) to go into politics! While he would be great? They would ruin him! It was too too dirty. My Dad was the kind of  Man who lifted everyone up no matter race, sex, religion,  or anything else. They had had to talk my Dad from going into the Peace Corps. He tried to join the Air Force he wanted to fly a plane but at that time they wouldn’t accept someone who was colorblind. Although he could usually differentiate colors by the shade of color. This would change in years to come but at that time it stopped Dad. Therefore my Aunt & Uncle along with others in my Dad’s family would encourage the events which led to me being alive with the meeting of my Mom & Dad at the Universtity of Tennessee.  

So, does the tree make a noise in the forest- in the woods? If no one is there to hear it? I believe it is like all things in life it is your perspective & are we asking the right question in life & listening with all parts of us? Then it truly matters at what junction of life we are in at any time. This will also determine which battles we choose to fight. We are also leaving the biggest factor of spiritual or Faith to the side but not really. It  was interwoven in this entire discussion & while it wasn’t being shoved at you. Or  maybe it was it is hard to an unbiased observer in this exchange because my belief is an integral part of my life. Like the tree & its noise or lack of contributions to its habitat a person or life whether it is their physical existence or their contribution to life as it was before a chronic illness walked into their life it has ripples of effects. The sounds they take on can either be used for advocacy self-empowerment & the empowerment of others or it can become an inward negativity almost creating more destruction with self-induced exile or isolation which never benefits anyone. While we all choose a certain degree of unavailable alone time due to being chronic- do you isolate with negativity or create   service & change with positivity?  It is the ultimatum of self & acknowledgement of no control. Yet we still choose optimism, possibly of positivity with the hormones & cortisol flooding our bodies speaking to our immune systems ❤️ and free falling with Faith – Because misery is not the company I choose keep. 

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