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What It Is Like

I wish for just one second and only for just that one second you could feel the hunger inside my body! See, you look at me quietly laughing and trying to praticipate in this family gathering or a friendly outing. And sometimes there are looks at the lack of food on my plate, oh I order, but it is never as much as everyone else. And I never eat the food really, I just push it around or act like I am cutting something. If there is a clear soup? Then I have been saved!I stretch that pot of gold out until the very last moment! And you cannot imagine how time consuming a glass of diet sprite can be! I would love to be able to eat as you do but every bite tears through my stomach like knives! Because this invisible illness which leaves me looking “okay” on the outside? It is lying!! I am one of the “skinny ones” so it can be mistaken for an eating disorder. But others starve with a lot of weight! Can you imagine the looks they receive?  I have Gastroparesis, Chronic intestinal pseudo obstruction syndrome, colon inertia, mitochondrial malabsorption. The easy way to understand all of this? My guts are paralyzed -slow.. They do not work! All but 5- 7 incnches of my large intestine was removed because it was so paralyzed! I have spent most of July 2015 and a chunk of Aug 2015 in the hospital because of this!So, yes just one second would I wish you to experience the sensation of starvation hunger while knowing the result of eating what you want could kill you! I truly want no one to live with this disease! But we need people to understand!